Executive Presence and Listening Skills
A new client told me listening has always been a challenge for him because “There’s more firing in my head than my ears can handle.” I loved the expression, even though it was a lame excuse. He had some deeply entrenched habits that contributed to his reputation as a “lousy listener.”
At his suggestion I shadowed him for two days to understand how he interacted with people, and he took Hear! Hear? Your Listening Portfolio® to learn how he listened. As I watched him in meetings (group and 1-to-1), I didn’t actually know what he heard, but he presented himself as non-involved. He sat expressionless, pushed back from the table, asked only pointed questions, offered no ideas or feedback, interrupted with non-sequiturs, and sneaked looks at his iPhone.
Afterwards, I shared my observations and asked about the impact of those behaviors on others. He’s smart and quickly grasped that his actions were creating the opposite effect of what he wanted to project. What he wanted to project we named, Executive Presence (EP), and what he sometimes projected we named Executive Absence (EA). They became our standards and measures, as well as a language that quickly cut to the chase: e.g. “Was that an EP or EA?”
We crafted the critical few Executive Presence attributes as a guide to model. They are:
- Genuine: Sometimes called “walk-the-talk” it is the intention to live in truthfulness and not pretend or cover up.
- Clear: It is following the KISS principle to make all communication understandable—no jargon, code or spin.
- Present: Inquire, listen, process, use body language, facial expressions and tone-of-voice to demonstrate complete attention.
- Confidence and courage: Willing to take innovation risks that others are excited to join.
- Optimism and passion—not necessarily wildly outgoing, but deeply committed.
- Likes colleagues. Sees people in a positive light and treats everyone with respect.
- Laughs at own mistakes and willing to be vulnerable—no blame and shame.
He made a scorecard with the seven attributes and rated himself after various interactions. My job was to help him build skills in the weak areas and solidify the strengths. He was optimistic and passionate (5), confident and courageous (4), and laughed easily at himself (7). We unpacked what he did to make sure he consciously replicated those behaviors rather than relying on his subconscious to perform them well.
For the more challenging attributes, I showed him techniques and tools that aligned his Executive Presence to what he modeled. For example, he stopped taking his iPhone into meetings, pulled up to the table, asked probing questions that required preparation on his part and thought on the part of the responder, and made facial expressions that matched his internal processing.
We’re still working together and he’s making fabulous progress. He and I are even talking about conducting an Executive Presence workshop that would include his scorecard.
Do you have a list of Executive Presence attributes that you’d add?
