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Listening Skills Strategies—Case #3 The Problem-Solving Listener
When I’m asked how listening styles are like MBTI descriptors, I say that listening is a brain function for the most part, with psychology thrown in, and MBTI is a personality type, so they really aren’t alike because they measure different aspects of a person. That said, I do notice that ISTJ’s are often also Problem-Solving Listeners. Pressed, I could find a correlation, but I’m not a university researcher and don’t want to go down that road.
If you have thoughts about the similarities, do share them with us.
The Case:
Brad was once in Marge’s (first case and an Inner-Personal Listener) department and he really enjoyed working with her. Brad was a contract employee and lost his job when the contract ended. Marge tried to keep him, to no avail, but she did help him get a full time IT job with a vendor.
In an unusual move, Brad asked Marge to lunch, not to thank her, but for a different reason. He wants her to help him understand himself better so he can have as good a relationship with his new colleagues as he did with Marge. At first she was reluctant, but then Marge thought it might be good training for her to be more forthcoming, and she does like Brad.
Marge describes Brad as detailed, fact-driven, precise, and impersonal when he listens. She says, “Sometimes I wondered if there would ever be enough data to satisfy your desire to get something just right. You could be exasperating, but rarely misinformed or wrong.” Characteristically, he asks her to cite examples and sits back, head in hand, to listen to as many as she can provide. Brad doesn’t react or defend; he listens to her words as information, not words about his character.
At the end of their lunch Brad thanks Marge and asks her to give him advice about what to tell his new colleagues about how best to interact with him.
What 2-3 pieces of advice do you have for Brad as he prepares others to interact with him?
I’ll chime in with my advice on the next post.
Categories: Listening with Clarity, Understanding Listening.